What it’s like being a girl…

I’m sorry, but I have a conversation that needs to be had. And it’s not pretty or glamorous. With that in mind, I feel the need to issue a warning–all boys and Sara C. need to stop reading this entry. Seriously. You don’t want to hear this. STOP READING!

All women except for Sara C, dear friend, feel free to read on.

Periods. I feel the need to talk about periods. I have these killer cramps. Like “walking like a hunchback, doubling over in the office, crawling up the stairs, bleeding like a spicket” cramps.

That’s not the worst part though–the worst part, I am remembering, is the insatiable hunger. I cannot get full. And all I want to do is eat. Today, I have had a Fiber One bar, Pop Tarts, a Heath bar, half a Hershey’s bar, a big lunch, four pieces of Laffy Taffy, Zotz, chips and salsa, and puppy chow.

And no, I haven’t had dinner yet. I’m thinking grilled cheese. and popcorn. and m&ms. and ice cream.

Oddly enough–I don’t even really like chocolate. I could do without chocolate. I mean, except for Heath bars. I live for Heath bars. Otherwise, no thanks. I would never eat m&ms or Hershey’s chocolate just because I wanted it–and today, I would have died for it.

If this keeps up I’ll look like Violet in Willy Wonka by Friday and someone is going to have to roll my fat ass to work.

Man, I feel like a Woman.