I’ve decided that it’s time for my life to be headed in a different direction. I need a new goal–something to be working towards. As I was sitting and watching television the other night, I had an epiphany. I decided exactly where I need to go–where my life needs to be headed. I decided, after a lot of thinking, what I need to do.
I need to be Kathy Griffin’s new assistant. I need to join Team Griffin. Seriously. Kathy needs another member of the team. And that person is me. It would be a win win for both of us. Kathy is hilarious. She makes me laugh. She says the off color things I wish I could say, but only think. She’s sarcastic. She’s raunchy. She’s fantastic. And if I worked for her, I would get that interaction daily. I would also get to travel, and I’m sure I’d laugh a bit. She also gave her staff brand new blackberrys and I am sure I would get one of those. Plus I would get to move to California and hang out in her sweet house.
And, well, she needs me, too. I’m funny. I know how to work. I know how to travel. I’d make a good groupie. I’d laugh at her jokes and boost her ego on a daily basis. I would also tell her when her hair looks shitty which is something her current staff is lacking on. I would drink wine with her mom–even if Maggie wanted it out of a box, I would take that bullet.
So, I need a few ideas as to how to go about landing this job. I’ve decided I will blog about Kathy regularly, and possibly email her every day for a year (a la the Notebook) and hope she reads them. Maybe I’ll even send her snail mail. Aside from that, I am out of ideas, but I suppose it’s a start.
Happy Friday, from the newest soon to be member of Team Griffin.