I survived!

by jlolb

Well. My parents didn’t get remarried at the lake this weekend—which was one of my concerns going into this trip. I thought, “Self, what if this is a big set-up and they are going to ambush you all with a shotgun wedding before your new little sister is born?”

Rest assured, that didn’t happen. And my mom’s not pregnant. At least not as far as I know. I felt like I should just throw that out there. They both did, however, get incredibly drunk on red wine and scotch. Thankfully, their rooms were on a floor separate from everyone else’s (peculiar? I think so), so whatever went down with them stays on that floor and no one has to be the wiser—thank the sweet lord in heaven.

After a really long car ride we finally made it. My brother in law made the fatal error of missing our turn, and before we knew it, we were 40 miles from St. Louis–completely out of our way. We took windy creepy country roads and waited for creepy men with chainsaws to jump out of the bushes and spread our limbs over several different states and hamburger buns. We did, however, get to see a dog on the roof, and I don’t know where you hang out, but I have never seen that before!

The highlights of the weekend would probably have to include this freaking amazing house. It is a 6 bedroom, 8 bathroom mammoth, with a salt water pool, firepit, hot tub, and lakefront property—oh, did I mention it’s actually on an island with 6 other houses? Yeah, it was sweet. My room now has a special little nook in my heart—that’s how much I loved it. It was complete with a gigantic bathroom, huge walk-in closet, sitting room, and bedroom that sat 4 stairs above the rest of my kingdom. Also, once you shut both doors, the rest of the house was no longer a concern. You could hear nothing. Flip those blackout blinds, and life was good.

One afternoon, we were all in the pool looking down at the lake when this boat full of tubers came by. We yelled down at them to see if we could mooch a ride—and get this, they obliged! So, my little sister, friend Allison and I ran down to the water, flailed out to the tube, flailed on to the tube, and flailed the entire time we were on this awesome ride with complete strangers!

Additionally, my brother in law, and his friend John both shared a wet Speedo. It was the creepiest thing I have ever seen. In fact, both of them ended up running around naked on the deck at some point in the weekend. It was, by far, the most disturbing thing that has ever happened to me.

We spent three glorious days floating around in the pool and three balmy nights in the hot tub drinking fruity drinks, and eating fantastic food. It is, however, no wonder that everyone on this trip had to booze themselves into numbness for three straight days to overcome the awkwardness that the annual family vacation has become.

Here are pictures of Emerson and my little boyfriend Oliver! They’re so cute!!!!!

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