Dysfunctional Thanksgiving

by jlolb

I won. I am the winner of Dysfunctional Thanksgiving—an offshoot of Dysfunctional Christmas—an event invented by my dear friend and some of her friends many years ago. This is the first year for Dysfunctional Thanksgiving, and I am the winner. What do you have to do to win? Have the most dysfunctional holiday possible with a lot of cookoo craziness with the family.

Here are the highlights of mine, and the reason I won:

-Lots and lots of wine. Like, lots of wine.
-One parent who is in the same house as me for 24 hours and doesn’t speak more than three sentences to me. Literally. I am not exaggerating.
-Going to the store with the other parent and breaking down sobbing due to other parent’s ridiculous behavior.
-Being scheduled to stay at sister’s until Sunday, and having to leave on Thursday evening after you slept off your afternoon buzz because you are so miserable.
-Letting cruel parent get the best of you to the point that you throw in the towel and go home—you win! You ruined my holiday, YOU WIN!!
-Answering your friend Kara’s phone call as soon as you get in the car and are pulling away from sister’s and continue to sob/choke/cry into the phone for the next 30 minutes.

When it comes down to it, I actually won. I won dysfunctional Thanksgiving, and I managed to salvage a great weekend and spent some quality time with some of my closest friends (love you guys), cleaned my house, put up Christmas decorations, and finished most of my Christmas shopping—I guess, all in all, it was a pretty decent weekend!