I’m getting MARRIED!!!!!!

by jlolb

It’s true.  I have found my dream guy and I am ready to take that next step.  Marriage. Yes indeed–never thought I’d see the day …He just doesn’t know it yet.

Nope.  I haven’t quite filled him in on that fact.  In fact, I haven’t quite filled him in on anything considering I have never met him.  But that is all about to change.

See, I love him.  I know, it’s love from a distance and at times that can appear to be a little bit stalker psycho restraining order type business, but I swear to you, this is not the case.

I just don’t know how to proceed.  Do I call him at work?  I found the number.  I could also resort to e-mail.  I could see if he is on facebook and go about it that way.  I just don’t know how to proceed?  What would you do?

How do I even know him, you’re asking?  Well, I’ve been watching him on TV for quite some time. Everytime I see him my heart melts and I utter something ridiculous to my roommate–something like, “seriously, he is my dream man.  And I would marry him tomorrow if I could.”  or, “gosh, he is so cute, don’t you love his beady brown eyes, and that beard?”  or “I just think he’s totally endearing.  I want to snuggle him.” 

The thing is, I have to figure out how tall he is and how much he weighs.  Because those two things are very important for me.  He has to be taller than me.  And he has to weigh more.  I think, from the looks of things, he is pretty tall, but he’s awfully lanky and quite skinny.  And I also have to confirm that he likes women.  I feel like that might be important.

It has gotten to be a pretty extreme obsession.  When I was in NYC earlier this year, I swore I saw him waiting in line for the Staten Island Ferry.  I convinced myself that I was delusional, but now, I can’t help but wonder–did I miss my “meet-cute” with my soulmate?

Who is he, you’re wondering by now?  Geof Manthorne.  From Ace of Cakes. Help me out, ladies–I want to snag this one.  Do I call Mary Alice?  Do I send in a general inquiry to the shop with questions including 1) is Geof single? 2)does he like women? 3) how tall is he?  I think those are the three questions that I must know before going any further.  How do I proceed?

He is in the green.