by jlolb

I’m horrified.  Depresssed.  Extremely forlorn.  Why, you ask?  Because of a number.  What number?  336.

What does that have to do with anything?  A whole lot.

Today, I read that the average person spends 2 weeks of his or her lifetime kissing.  ONLY. TWO. WEEKS. ONLY 336 hours.

That’s less than an hour a day in a YEAR.  And we’re talking about an entire huge long many many year lifetime.

Lets say the average marriage lasts 30 years (probably longer), that’s 1,560 weeks which is also 10,920 days. And you only spend a total of FOURTEEN of those days kissing?!?!?!?!

There are 1440 minutes in a day, which means the average person spends only 20,160 minutes kissing and if the average marriage is 30 years, well, that’s 15,724,800 minutes and you’re only going to be kissing for 20 thousand of them?? And that’s the marriage. 

And who’s even talking about MARRIAGE really? You certainly don’t have to be married to kiss. You are ALIVE for approximately 44,676,000 minutes–and that’s if you die when you are 80.  Of course you can subtract 14-20 years worth of minutes depending on when you started kissing, but for the sake of all that is holy, that means there are a lot of minutes there wasted…by not kissing. I’ve probably already spent two weeks of my life kissing. What is there to look forward to? A barren wasteland of close mouthed pecks?  A kissing cemetery littered with atrophic lips?  Where is the justice?  All of you–go find someone, and spend AT LEAST 17 minutes making out tonight.

…it can’t be.  It simply can’t be.