Oh boy.

by jlolb

Holy Shit.

I don’t live in Iowa anymore.

But I don’t quite live in Colorado yet, either.

I am in Limbo.  In Omaha. Nebraska.

For the next 15-ish hours. With my mom.  And dad.  And little sister. And grandfather.

Then we will hit the road again for the next 9 hour drive to DenCo.

I am thrilled.  I want to be there. Now.

Yesterday was rough.  I spent many a minute yesterday afternoon sobbing.  Those hard ones.  The ones you don’t want to cry, but you can’t control. And the tears keep coming.  And every time someone else comes in and says, “Are you crying,” you cry harder.

God, I will miss those people.  I will miss them more every day.  I am thankful I get to come back in two weeks to finish my work obligations and see them again.

And then last night, it was better.

And then this morning, I went to breakfast with my dad and was so anxious/sad that I couldn’t eat.

The sadness keeps sneaking up on me.  Occasionally, I can feel it creeping up behind me. Like a creepy stalker…you want to run, but will you be fast enough to beat it? And if you can sneak out from it’s hovering shadow, you see the sun and you can be happy.  I think it will be like this on and off for a few days.  I think it will go away.  I think it might take time.  But, I think it will be normal.

I hope so.

I want to be excited.  I want the transition time to go away. I want to be there independently.  I want my parents to move me in and go home…so I can begin again.  On my own.

I want to be a Coloradan…now.

Oh, and P.S. as a Coloradan, I have taken a vow to myself to do more blogging–to blog regularly so that I can keep all of my people at home updated with what I am doing.