I’m thinking…

by jlolb

It’s nearly 11:30.  I just walked in the door.  From. Work.

It was one of those incredibly long 16 hour days–the ones that are sometimes required to meet deadlines and produce the type of work that re-confirms to your boss why he is paying your salary and why he generally likes having you around…at least I hope that’s what it confirms.  That being said, today didn’t leave me with anything particularly interesting to say–no good stories, no deep thoughts, nothing mind-blowing whatsoever… but it did leave me with a lot of thoughts. Thoughts including the following:

  • The lights in the parking lot outside of the office building should be on when you emerge from the depths of those walls at 11p.  When they’re not on, and you walk into a dark abyss of who-knows-what, it’s a little creepy.  Especially when you’re the last one out and there is a coyote who lives in the field next door.  Seriously.  I could have been a midnight snack. (Is it better to worry about coyotes than murderers? Because that didn’t cross my mind until now…maybe I should carry pepper spray.)
  • Always keep a can of soup at the office–you never know when you may have no other options for dinner.
  • I’m going on a date tomorrow night with a guy I got drunk on tequila and made out with nearly a month ago.  I haven’t seen him since, and although I know I should be filled with anxiety, I am mostly concerned about finding the time to paint my nails between right now and happy hour tomorrow.  I’d like to get five hours of sleep and also be back to work on time, so I’m not sure how this is all going to shake out.  I’ll probably lose sleep over it…maybe I should paint my nails while I’m in bed not sleeping and worrying about when I’ll find the time.
  • What am I going to wear?
  • I think needing people is scary.  This week, I was afraid that one of my most important relationships was on the brink of taking on a completely different dynamic and it threw me into a tailspin. I have grown so accustomed to having this person in my life on a consistent level that the thought of that consistency being gone left me utterly terrified.  I’m glad to say I’m fairly certain that issue has become a non-issue, but it still left me wondering–what if something changes 2 or 5 or 11 months from now–what then?  Relying on people is hard. Trusting people is hard. 
  • My office walls never look more bare than they do when it’s dark outside.  I need art.
  • I cut my finger between my car and my apartment and it really hurts…what happened?
  • I wish someone would hire someone to clean my apartment and iron my clothes.
  • I wish someone would hire someone to roost me out of bed in 5 hours and 15 minutes when the alarm goes off.
  • I’m still hungry.
  • What am I going to wear?
  • I’m throwing around the idea of taking a 10 day vacay in January to go visit some friends in Asia.  Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, I might be seeing you soon.  The thought of throwing some clothes in a backpack and heading out like I used to in college is, like, so incredibly exciting I can hardly stand it.  Please confirm the vacation days, boss man.

That’s all.  Night.

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