Conversations Worth Saving

by jlolb

She said, “So, answer this: Why don’t you know how to feel?”

I replied, “Because I’m almost embarassed by how tangled I am to this.  Like there’s this whole root system that bore its way into this relationship and those roots have settled themselves into all the mushy parts and even if the tree has been cut off the roots are still there. I need a person who knows more about trees to tell me how to get to the roots and kill them. To kill them and just let.this.be.over.  It’s just…the roots.”

She said, “When you take a tree out, roots and all, it’s pretty obvious for awhile. There is a large mound of dirt where the tree used to be. There is grass around it, and it makes the spot of dirt look darker and more obvious. But it does not make it look worse than when a dead tree was standing in the way of a great view. I’ve also heard that a tree’s roots go down as deep as the tree goes up into the sky.  Ergo, if you continue to grow this relationship, through communication, etcetera, you might draw the parallel that you’re making your roots deeper, clunkier, more tangled. It’s gotta stop growing before the roots can come out. No one can tell you how to do it. I think it’s about you making the choice that you respect yourself far too much to let this person continue to disrespect, manipulate and lie to you. You owe it to yourself to find who you are again, catch your breath, and get ready to plant some new roots.  That tree is dead and it is in the way.”

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